Compass
by oneapotheosis
Summary: When the one remaining sacred thing between them is taken. Angst & some smut.


**A/N:** Hey, friendos. Sorry for making them so angsty, but hopefully you'll forgive me due to the enclosed written gifts. I also hope it doesn't sound too fixer-upper. I am bad at titles, the name is because of the title of a really depressing psytrance mix I listened to whilst writing this. This was actually Adi's idea and for some reason she wanted me to write it. Well, pal, I present to you, and you can count it as a now-you're-a-lawyer gift. Hope y'all enjoy, I love it when you review because it validates me a lil bit (okay a lot). Pleasant reading!

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 **Compass**

They sat in the dark of the night, her hand in his, across from her at the dining table. The only light was provided by the dim lights in the kitchen. The house was silent, the kids having long gone to bed, and so were they. Lost in thought, the only movement between them was Henry's thumb rubbing her hand absentmindedly. Elizabeth could hear his breathing, low and heavy; his body was too still, trying not to move any more than absolutely necessary. They were both so tired, but the bedroom seemed far away, and sleep even farther.

"Come to bed?" She spoke quietly, as though to not startle him.

He looked up and nodded, standing and taking her hand again, leading them up the stairs. When they reached the security of the bedroom, Henry quickly pulled her to him, kissing her fiercely. She squeaked and stiffened in surprise, but quickly softened to his touch. His movements felt hurried and desperate, like he was afraid she'd dissolve from his hold. She kissed him back with equal fever, clutching at his body, closing any distance between their bodies. She knew what he needed, and she needed it too. He needed her emotionally, spiritually and physically; it felt like an imperative and every time they were together, there was a new an undying fear that it may be their last.

Pushing his tongue past her lips, he sucked her, drawing desperate breaths of life from her and deep into his soul. The slow steady gyration of her hips against him confirmed her body and mind were in-step. Henry couldn't quiet _his_ mind though. He kissed her more, pushing his hands under her shirt and onto burning skin, taking it up a level and challenging his invasive thoughts to compete. She pulled back for a moment, having to push him a little as she gasped for the breath that he'd sucked from her lungs.

Elizabeth looked into his deep, clouded eyes. They were dark and the familiarity she saw scared her. He kissed her again, pushing them back towards the bed and stripping her in his haste. He didn't want to think, he wanted only a moment of uninterrupted peace, but it seemed that was becoming nothing but a distant memory. He tried to drown himself in her body. Her eyes, her scent and sounds were always enough to engulf him, even if only temporarily. She would cure the burning ache he felt so deep inside; the intense throb in his mind that took over in overwhelming waves of reality whenever he found a second of reprieve.

He focused on her soft moans and whimpers, traveling up her warm skin with his mouth, tasting the salt and remnants of her perfume. Her soft caresses and words of adoration were always enough for him, but as she trailed a hand between their heated bodies and began rubbing him, he knew that tonight may not be enough. Henry tried to focus again, concentrating on the feeling of her gentle hands on him. She was whispering against his lips, her hot breaths keeping him grounded. He hadn't spoken a word, he couldn't free himself from his own mind.

"Come on, baby. It's okay." She whispered, continuing her gentle movements. "Look at me, Henry."

He reluctantly dragged his fearful eyes up to meet hers. Elizabeth stroked softly, but she could feel that his growing hardness had faltered and dissipated. He tried so desperately to focus on her touch, and listen to the sound of her voice, but his body simply could not fall in line. He was too distracted. Too afraid. He felt disgusted by himself. He swallowed hard and squeezed his eyes closed.

"I… I can't." He whispered against her. He started to pull away, not wanting to look at her. He couldn't bear to see the disappointment on her face. He couldn't even do this for his wife.

"Hey, Henry, come on." She held him tight and tried to pull him back.

"No, I _can't._ Elizabeth, I'm sorry."

He removed her hands from him, pulling back from her embrace. Reaching down, he pulled his boxers on and sat on the side of the bed. She watched him for a moment, surprised and unsure what to do. His posture was slumped, and his face was in his hands. He looked so defeated and it broke her heart. The grief and hurt twisted in her belly, but it wasn't for her, she knew that this wasn't about her. She hurt for her husband and how she knew that this would wound him. She crawled up behind him, perching on her knees, wrapping her arms around his middle. She sat silent, resting against his back, her nose pressed into the crook of his neck.

"Baby, I'm sorry." His voice was weak and broken. "It's not _you_ , please you have to know—"

"Shh, Henry. I know. It's okay." She whispered against his ear. It'd stung her pride for a moment, but she quickly buried that feeling, knowing he needed her more than ever. He was struggling, and it pained her to simply watch idly.

Would she hate him? Would she even be able to _look_ at the husk of a man he'd become? Henry knew these irrational thoughts weren't fair, but he felt like he had nothing left as the tears began to stream down his cheeks. He was angry, furious even, that the _one_ sacred thing that remained between them had been taken. He felt so useless. Elizabeth was holding him together, quite literally. She held him close to her body, placing gentle, loving kisses to his neck and cheek. She was only small, but her surrounding warmth was undeniable, and he tried desperately to let himself be consumed by her.

She pulled away to don her t-shirt, and he wondered for a fleeting moment if she was leaving. Returning promptly, she sank into the mattress beside him. Threading a hand through his thick hair, she gently stroked, using the other hand to grip his wrist, trying to pry his hands from hiding his face.

He finally relented, revealing red, tired eyes. He quickly looked down again. She didn't need to see him like that.

"Elizabeth, I'm sor—"

"Stop. I _love_ you." She gripped his chin, turning him to look at her. "I love you." She repeated, making sure he looked into her eyes. Making sure he believed it. He nodded slowly, sniffing back tears and wiping his face. "Lie down with me for a while?" There was no force in the world strong enough to make him deny her.

"Okay."

She pulled them back onto the bed, and Henry curled up against her, resting his head on her chest. Elizabeth traced mindless patterns against his back, listening to his breathing slowly regulate. She was always so understanding, of _course_ she was. He sometimes felt like he wasn't good enough for her, his insecurity playing tricks on his mind lately. They'd never doubted their relationship, but they'd also done many things recently that they'd never even imagined. He wasn't ashamed to need his wife, Henry didn't subscribe to that way of thinking; he was ashamed of himself, feeling that he was unable to return her kindness and understanding of late, and now, ashamed that he was unable to fulfil her physically.

"What are you thinking about?" She stroked his forehead gently, pushing the mussed hair back and out of his eyes.

"Just… With everything that's happened, I just can't get out of my head. I can't sleep. I can't even think." He mumbled against her shirt. She desperately wished to take that from him; Henry's thoughts were his solace, and she knew how much it was crushing him to have that space overturned.

"Are you having nightmares?"

Conflicted, he wanted to protect her from the answer, but he owed her the truth, knowing she probably already did. "Yes."

"You should wake me. When you have nightmares, you should wake me."

He adjusted his head a little so he could meet her eyes. "No, baby. At least _one_ of us should be getting some sleep."

"I want you to wake me." She swallowed thickly, taking a deep breath. "I want you to talk to me. We're in this together."

He nodded again. "I love you, too." Making up for his missed opportunity before.

They were silent for some time. Elizabeth kept her steady movements, rubbing his back, slowly getting lost in her own thoughts. When she thought he'd fallen asleep, his quiet voice brought her back.

"That's never happened before." It came out a whisper, as though he was afraid to say it out loud.

"I know."

"Elizabeth… please don't think that it's… that I'm not _attracted_ to you." He felt silly having to say it, but he couldn't bear the thought of her thinking that she was to blame. She waited for him to continue, she already knew this, but he needed to _say_ it and get it off of his chest. Henry tilted his chin to look her in the eyes, bright and inviting. "Everything about you, everything you do turns me on." He shuffled himself so that she was in _his_ arms.

"I know that, too." She giggled.

He flushed a little, glad she couldn't see his red cheeks in the dim light. He knew she was recounting all of the times that she'd caught him ogling with a stupid look on his face, and another part of him also staring.

She crawled closer into his embrace, breathing him in. "Kiss me." She mumbled.

He hovered above her lips and held still, feeling her impatient breaths. She nuzzled him gently, finally bringing their lips in contact. He kissed her languidly, taking the time to pull and suck on her soft lips, using his tongue to taste her mouth. Threading his fingers through her thick locks, he pulled her closer, gently massaging her scalp. Her soft moans and quiet whimpers into his lips send a chill down his spine; pleasing her felt like a physical imperative.

Henry gently rolled Elizabeth onto her back, hovering above her as he began a hot, wet trail of kisses down her neck. He moved over her shirt, swiping a nipple with his tongue over the cotton barrier and feeling it harden under his mouth. The contact forcing another throaty sound from between her lips. Continuing his journey south, he lifted her shirt just enough to dip his wet tongue into her belly button, making her squirm and giggle. She quickly regained her senses and reached a hand to his hair.

"Henry, you don't…" Her words died in her throat when she saw the look he gave her, eyes flashing up to meet her, dark and ravenous. Her heart thundered at the sight, and her skin erupted in goosebumps. He grinned wickedly, and felt her grip on his hair tighten. He'd not stop until she was trembling in absolute ecstasy, gasping for breath and completely spent in every possible way. She dropped her head back against the pillows as he continued lower.

Placing light kisses the insides of her thighs, he gently pushed them apart, giving himself better access. As he moved closer, she could feel his hot breaths against her hyper-sensitive flesh. The anticipation was maddening, and she wriggled her hips impatiently, desperate to find purchase. He could only see her; her sounds, her scent was enough to engulf him. His mind had focused all of his energy into the unanimous goal. He could tease her beyond belief at any time, but now, he needed to see her fall apart under his touch. Wasting no time, he took a long, firm swipe upward, parting her soft lips with his tongue. The moan that escaped her was much louder than before, and he saw her hand dart upwards to poorly muffle the sound. Henry smiled through his actions, suppressing a chuckle. He moved his mouth vigour, lapping up her arousal greedily. If the sight and smell of her weren't enough for Henry, her _taste_ sent him into oblivion. He moaned against her hot body, making her squirm and sink down against him. Every lick and smack of his lips sending pleasurable jolts through her body, and every desperate gasp and cry of pleasure encouraging him as he feasted on her like a starving man. She held him tight against her, pulling his hair roughly as her thighs began to quiver.

She was panting his name, and he knew he needed to finish her off soon. He moved his lips to suck her clit, pushing three long fingers deep inside of her burning heat. The scream that escaped her was uninhibited, and he felt her clench around him immediately. The sudden assault on her senses was too much, the way his fingers filled and stretched her, his skilled lips against her most sensitive area. She ached off of the bed and he had to still her hips with his hand as she dove over the edge. Desperately trying to control her volume, strangled cries of pleasure echoed in the room, the sharp sound of ragged breathing filling his ears. He stayed with her the whole time, letting her ride it out as far as she could go, giving her slow, gentle strokes through the waves.

Henry crawled up her body, slowly descending his lips onto hers. She gripped his hair and pulled him in roughly, kissing him fiercely. When she pulled away for breath he took the opportunity to whisper against her lips.

"You are so beautiful." He kissed her again quickly. "And kind." Another kiss. "And simply amazing. What did I _ever_ do to deserve you." He kissed her deeply, trying to convey the weight of his love and immense appreciation of her. Henry rolled to his side, taking her with him and into his arms. He felt her arm snake between their bodies, but he stopped her.

"Just you, baby. Just lie with me." She stared into his eyes and saw the conviction. She did not push him, and curled further into his embrace.

"Okay."

He smiled genuinely, nuzzling their noses together. It felt like a lifetime since they'd simply lied in each others arms. His mind felt clearer than it had in weeks, and as always she was his cure.

"We really need a holiday." He started.

She nodded in agreement. "Remote."

"No kids." They both said in unison, bursting into a fit of giggles at their aligned thoughts.

"This will do for now." She whispered.

"Wait for me, will you?" He mumbled.

"As long as it takes." He nodded, letting his eyes finally slip closed.


End file.
